Milestone for the first week: I do not owe any homework, and so far should have sufficient time to complete all work. Nothing big actually.
Never did I thought that the first week would be so hectic. Life is just so unpredictable, anything just happens before you. The best drama serial Ive seen so far (Those reading could be thinking of C.L.I.F.) is actually my own life, its just amazing how things occur sometimes... Compared to other drama serials, this is the only one that tells me more life stories and teaches me more lessons than ever.
I always feel like blogging about something, but when I really log in and see the blank, my mind also goes blank... Its really because certain things I wanna let go cant really be talked about openly, yet sometimes I do hope the audience can see it (though quite unlikely).
Being able to let off things from your heart and mind is one thing, the audiences' effect is another. I never thought it matters, I believe it doesnt but something says it does...
And for the past 2 hours, I went to the toilet for simple business 4 times... Not like Im earning money.... Now I rmb... The art of eating (with braces). This is the first time I started to not like eating. As the saying goes, 能吃是福. Now, I trully understand. I used to say things without really thingking and experiencing, like a textbook. But now, how I wish I can just have some really nice food without my braces and chew all I want. ARGH!
The magic behind this milestone that I do not want to talk about is just weird. I sort of link it that way, but somehow I guess its just a coincidence. I know I shouldn't be thinking of it. But its really painful to not express when you need, I might just end of differently. Gah, I really cant say lah.
Sometimes, I really dunno who to confide it. I cant find anyone, because certain things are just too sensitive. I shall just end here for now.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Should not be blogging now.
Yes I know, Im not supposed to be here. But recently so many things happened, and I don't want to type 每日一作文, so had to let off my sorrows here....
"You always smile but in your eyes your sorrows show
Yes it shows." --Without You (Harry Nilsson/Air Supply)
This seems quite true for those people I know who smile very often. But for quite a few them, I do catch them not smiling quite some times. Well, I just can't get myself to be cheerful, act like nothing happened when something did. I am just not the happy-go-lucky type. How I wish I were. Its no fun to be reminded of the bad things that happened in the day, month and year. So once again, to those whom I did not really smile to, I am sorry about that.
Questioning the purpose of life, a significant fellow in my life said that it means would be showing you have depression. But I guess, once in a while, it allows each and every one of us to check our direction. Though I may not enjoy doing certain things, but I realised that there are some other ways to just pass it through. Its part and parcel of life, and I will take it as an experience then. However, nevertheless, the process if still tortorous for me most of the time. But I wired out something: I live for happiness of myself and if possible happiness of others. Sometimes, its the other way around though.
I better get back to work.
"You always smile but in your eyes your sorrows show
Yes it shows." --Without You (Harry Nilsson/Air Supply)
This seems quite true for those people I know who smile very often. But for quite a few them, I do catch them not smiling quite some times. Well, I just can't get myself to be cheerful, act like nothing happened when something did. I am just not the happy-go-lucky type. How I wish I were. Its no fun to be reminded of the bad things that happened in the day, month and year. So once again, to those whom I did not really smile to, I am sorry about that.
Questioning the purpose of life, a significant fellow in my life said that it means would be showing you have depression. But I guess, once in a while, it allows each and every one of us to check our direction. Though I may not enjoy doing certain things, but I realised that there are some other ways to just pass it through. Its part and parcel of life, and I will take it as an experience then. However, nevertheless, the process if still tortorous for me most of the time. But I wired out something: I live for happiness of myself and if possible happiness of others. Sometimes, its the other way around though.
I better get back to work.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
NExt WEek is SCHool !!
Do I sound excited. Im telling you, I am not at all excited.
Maybe I should be, to see how my "masterpiece" will work out. But looking at prospects, I don't think that things are too optimistic. Maybe I should just hope that things do not go chaotic. Mr Ng still hasn't gave any reply yet. Is his silence a consent? I think he is very busy.
Today, a pair of twins were born. But not on this year haha. Anyway, today was also the fateful day I had to extract one tooth. Oh well, just hope that it will bring about improvements. Meanwhile... haha...
Schoolwork still on-going. It seems that Biology is ok after all. But I still don't like doing Bio. Trying to complete this Bio paper and all will be good after today! Struggling to complete it cos its just too.... Oh well. Speaking of which, my NYAA is still not done yet.... Haiz, this few days bah, this few days.
Even during the holidays, I get to learn some lessons as well eh... My father told me there's a website with all the old names of Singapore locations... Outdated definitely, but I guess its possible to create new ones ourself.... Its like there used to unique 16 floor HDB flats at Commonwealth, so its called Chap lak Lau, hokkien for Sixteen floors. So, if we reinvent it, then Tanjong Pagar-Contonment (Duxton) can be called Gor Chap Lau, hokkien for 50 floors! But I understand that these names came out because the people then weren't very educated. If it were us, Duxton Pinnacle would be just simple... But I know some who call it things like tallest HDB, Tanjong Pagar tall HDB etc... Interesting indeed lah, got Pek Kio (Rangoon/Owen), Aw Kio (Balestier), Ang Sah Li (Serangoon Gardens). Many more, if interested can just google it, its one of the wordpresses (I think the only wordpress).
Ok, its time to call my mother and do other stuff. I hope I can pull through Bio Paper tonight.
Maybe I should be, to see how my "masterpiece" will work out. But looking at prospects, I don't think that things are too optimistic. Maybe I should just hope that things do not go chaotic. Mr Ng still hasn't gave any reply yet. Is his silence a consent? I think he is very busy.
Today, a pair of twins were born. But not on this year haha. Anyway, today was also the fateful day I had to extract one tooth. Oh well, just hope that it will bring about improvements. Meanwhile... haha...
Schoolwork still on-going. It seems that Biology is ok after all. But I still don't like doing Bio. Trying to complete this Bio paper and all will be good after today! Struggling to complete it cos its just too.... Oh well. Speaking of which, my NYAA is still not done yet.... Haiz, this few days bah, this few days.
Even during the holidays, I get to learn some lessons as well eh... My father told me there's a website with all the old names of Singapore locations... Outdated definitely, but I guess its possible to create new ones ourself.... Its like there used to unique 16 floor HDB flats at Commonwealth, so its called Chap lak Lau, hokkien for Sixteen floors. So, if we reinvent it, then Tanjong Pagar-Contonment (Duxton) can be called Gor Chap Lau, hokkien for 50 floors! But I understand that these names came out because the people then weren't very educated. If it were us, Duxton Pinnacle would be just simple... But I know some who call it things like tallest HDB, Tanjong Pagar tall HDB etc... Interesting indeed lah, got Pek Kio (Rangoon/Owen), Aw Kio (Balestier), Ang Sah Li (Serangoon Gardens). Many more, if interested can just google it, its one of the wordpresses (I think the only wordpress).
Ok, its time to call my mother and do other stuff. I hope I can pull through Bio Paper tonight.
Monday, June 13, 2011
JENSON BUTTON'S FIRST VICTORY THIS YEAR!!
Ok, just to be surprised. This morning woke up. Missed the victory news for CNA but saw that hamilton crashed. Oh dear.
So it was CNBC for 1 hour, and decided to got back to CNA to try my luck. Got a 3-second shock when I saw jenson button!!!!!
Thought it would be a sad case for him but apparently he won! Congratulations! Now I would have tried to watch ytd hahaha. But apparently, luck is always a must have in grand prix races somehow this year.
So it was CNBC for 1 hour, and decided to got back to CNA to try my luck. Got a 3-second shock when I saw jenson button!!!!!
Thought it would be a sad case for him but apparently he won! Congratulations! Now I would have tried to watch ytd hahaha. But apparently, luck is always a must have in grand prix races somehow this year.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Middle of Holidays.
Gosh, the middle of the holidays has passed. But my homework is not even halfway done yet. If possible, I aim to complete my work this week, and probably do some home admin matters too.
Canadian Grand Prix really seems boring to me. Im going to sleep soon, not staying up for it.
I don't understand why some people have to resort to stealing certain things sometimes. Well, I dunno what kind of karma this is but oh well, I will not steal. But this person really seems so professional. I don't want to call the police, but if so is it right to let him continue his ways if he has done a lot of harm. No time to think about it.
More importantly, Im just feeling sad over the lost of my phone. It was a really good phone. Back in 08, when I first saw it online, I knew that this was it. 一见钟情？haha not really lah. But yea, I really like the exterior, the features, and the interior system. After that, I never cared for any other phone. Though there were some minor problems with the phone, after 1 year of endurance, I managed to clear all the problems and was enjoying my daily life with it so much. So much that I realised its already 2 years and 2 months since I started using it. As many always say, 欢乐的时光总是过的那么快。我万万也没有想到，竟然要用这样的方式，会在这样的场合，和它永远的道别。
Sometimes I really do wonder why we exist for a fact. Is it just that we learn our lessons, and live our lives happy or sad, creating trouble for some and making others happy, but most importantly, very likely not impacting most of the people. And after that we just leave the world, most of us quietly. Whats the point of life if it is just full of hatred, terror, fear, jealousy?
I try my best not to hate anyone. I believe from the bottom of the heart I dont. In fact, I do not like some people. But why should I hate them? They are still people. Sometimes, its really easy to take every single person around you as a nice, kind-hearted soul. Just ignore all that negative sides of the human heart for a moment and realise the beauty of each individual. Its really wonderful.
But well, we the humans are created to be emotioned. We cannot ignore what we feel and think. Sadly, such negative sides exist in diversity and variety. Yes, you cannot help to think that someone does not like you, but have you ever felt the pain of simply trying to be nice to everyone, even though it seems to you that the person does not like you? We try our best to be perfect, but is it really possible? This vicious cycle would continue forever, because there was just someone who had started it.
I guess, its really amazing in a way. I can not like that person but apparently keep feeling that the person is inclinging towards me. I like that person but keeps feeling that the person tries to avoid me, somehow not really liking me. Sometimes, we do get the courage to ask. But what if people do not speak from the bottom of their hearts, afraid that they might hurt others. Do we want the truth or do want protection. I really don't know. But sometimes, I guess our doubt of others would hurt each other more. But we just cannot reject what we feel.
I guess enough is said for tonight, I just hope when I wake up tomorrow, I can continue towards the important task to fulfill now: Complete my work.
I do have many other things to do, like cleaning up the house, sorting my elections articles, practice chinese and read english, analyse finances. Time has been my good friend, but I have never treated it well.
Canadian Grand Prix really seems boring to me. Im going to sleep soon, not staying up for it.
I don't understand why some people have to resort to stealing certain things sometimes. Well, I dunno what kind of karma this is but oh well, I will not steal. But this person really seems so professional. I don't want to call the police, but if so is it right to let him continue his ways if he has done a lot of harm. No time to think about it.
More importantly, Im just feeling sad over the lost of my phone. It was a really good phone. Back in 08, when I first saw it online, I knew that this was it. 一见钟情？haha not really lah. But yea, I really like the exterior, the features, and the interior system. After that, I never cared for any other phone. Though there were some minor problems with the phone, after 1 year of endurance, I managed to clear all the problems and was enjoying my daily life with it so much. So much that I realised its already 2 years and 2 months since I started using it. As many always say, 欢乐的时光总是过的那么快。我万万也没有想到，竟然要用这样的方式，会在这样的场合，和它永远的道别。
Sometimes I really do wonder why we exist for a fact. Is it just that we learn our lessons, and live our lives happy or sad, creating trouble for some and making others happy, but most importantly, very likely not impacting most of the people. And after that we just leave the world, most of us quietly. Whats the point of life if it is just full of hatred, terror, fear, jealousy?
I try my best not to hate anyone. I believe from the bottom of the heart I dont. In fact, I do not like some people. But why should I hate them? They are still people. Sometimes, its really easy to take every single person around you as a nice, kind-hearted soul. Just ignore all that negative sides of the human heart for a moment and realise the beauty of each individual. Its really wonderful.
But well, we the humans are created to be emotioned. We cannot ignore what we feel and think. Sadly, such negative sides exist in diversity and variety. Yes, you cannot help to think that someone does not like you, but have you ever felt the pain of simply trying to be nice to everyone, even though it seems to you that the person does not like you? We try our best to be perfect, but is it really possible? This vicious cycle would continue forever, because there was just someone who had started it.
I guess, its really amazing in a way. I can not like that person but apparently keep feeling that the person is inclinging towards me. I like that person but keeps feeling that the person tries to avoid me, somehow not really liking me. Sometimes, we do get the courage to ask. But what if people do not speak from the bottom of their hearts, afraid that they might hurt others. Do we want the truth or do want protection. I really don't know. But sometimes, I guess our doubt of others would hurt each other more. But we just cannot reject what we feel.
I guess enough is said for tonight, I just hope when I wake up tomorrow, I can continue towards the important task to fulfill now: Complete my work.
I do have many other things to do, like cleaning up the house, sorting my elections articles, practice chinese and read english, analyse finances. Time has been my good friend, but I have never treated it well.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
If possible, I'd rather not think about it.
Middle of holidays, but work not is not half. Really need to buck up. Im picking up speed, but I guess a little too slowly. A little bored, so decided to pen down some thoughts. Ok, type, as Hanker would say.
My life this year has been extraordinare. It will forever be different from that of my lives in other years, just like how each year is unique to me. Many things have happened this year. In terms of many aspects, of which some seen a positive change, and others a negative one. But I do believe that no matter what happens, it will benefit me in the end, somehow.
It seems that there are people reading, so I think I do not want to type anymore on more personal matters. Anyway, Im a little lost and I can't really put it in words.
Went for an LTA event, the DTL2 Tunnelling Commencement. Got a first-hand experience of chatting with newly appointed Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew. He really seems to be different, and trying his best to do his job well. So far so good, barely any thing I have disagreed with that he has mentioned. On another note, I want to thank my good friends that have accompanied me these years, John, Jeremy, Jun You and more. Especially John, I think we have actually surpassed that of just squadmates, fellow enthusiasts and even schoolmates, but really close friends, which is due to also our close personality.
I guess I shall end here for now.
My life this year has been extraordinare. It will forever be different from that of my lives in other years, just like how each year is unique to me. Many things have happened this year. In terms of many aspects, of which some seen a positive change, and others a negative one. But I do believe that no matter what happens, it will benefit me in the end, somehow.
It seems that there are people reading, so I think I do not want to type anymore on more personal matters. Anyway, Im a little lost and I can't really put it in words.
Went for an LTA event, the DTL2 Tunnelling Commencement. Got a first-hand experience of chatting with newly appointed Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew. He really seems to be different, and trying his best to do his job well. So far so good, barely any thing I have disagreed with that he has mentioned. On another note, I want to thank my good friends that have accompanied me these years, John, Jeremy, Jun You and more. Especially John, I think we have actually surpassed that of just squadmates, fellow enthusiasts and even schoolmates, but really close friends, which is due to also our close personality.
I guess I shall end here for now.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Close to one week into holidays.... GAH
Wow, time passes so fast. Its close to one week.
I just realised there isn't much time left, comparing the time to things to do ratio. Oh dear!
For the past one week, it started out with NP stuff. Then pushed myself to complete my testimonial. Did some maths and Chinese, read a bit of Geography. Gosh, I need to change my attitude towards Science, if not Im not going to improve.
I have not really done Mei Ri Yi Ju, I think for 2-3 days. Looks like Im going to have a hard time, can only talk about what happened in 《金枕头》 haah. I finally completed it, after 3, close to 4 days of continuous watching. Hopefully I can save my eyesight. My mum left me 《三国演义》 before going, and its the drama serial version, so I guess for this one, I will restrict myself and not hurt my eyes. Seeing all the weird drama techniques in 1995, the weird looking places, faces; Maybe not weird, but unfamiliar and probably retro haha, really made me think about certain things. But its way too long-winded!!!!
Just 2 days ago, more people have left for the country, I hope for a good cause. Thinking about that, I do hope that I have a chance to go on a trip with John... But, whats yours will be yours, so if it really doesn't come, I guess I will look for an alternative. What comes knocking on my door, I will consider it.
Other than homework, I still have assessment books. Reading of syllabus is another important part for this holiday's schedule, and I also need to sort out certain things, for example, the newspaper collections for this election. This one cannot wait till December. Others, probably could, such as photo collections and some personal matters.
Shall sign off for now...
I just realised there isn't much time left, comparing the time to things to do ratio. Oh dear!
For the past one week, it started out with NP stuff. Then pushed myself to complete my testimonial. Did some maths and Chinese, read a bit of Geography. Gosh, I need to change my attitude towards Science, if not Im not going to improve.
I have not really done Mei Ri Yi Ju, I think for 2-3 days. Looks like Im going to have a hard time, can only talk about what happened in 《金枕头》 haah. I finally completed it, after 3, close to 4 days of continuous watching. Hopefully I can save my eyesight. My mum left me 《三国演义》 before going, and its the drama serial version, so I guess for this one, I will restrict myself and not hurt my eyes. Seeing all the weird drama techniques in 1995, the weird looking places, faces; Maybe not weird, but unfamiliar and probably retro haha, really made me think about certain things. But its way too long-winded!!!!
Just 2 days ago, more people have left for the country, I hope for a good cause. Thinking about that, I do hope that I have a chance to go on a trip with John... But, whats yours will be yours, so if it really doesn't come, I guess I will look for an alternative. What comes knocking on my door, I will consider it.
Other than homework, I still have assessment books. Reading of syllabus is another important part for this holiday's schedule, and I also need to sort out certain things, for example, the newspaper collections for this election. This one cannot wait till December. Others, probably could, such as photo collections and some personal matters.
Shall sign off for now...
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
There's something wrong with me.
I've had enough of doing that. I really want to stop already. Ive had enough of all that other nonsense. I want to settle down now. Its time to stop this. But it supposedly isnt the right time to start that. How I wish such things don't bother me so much. As much as I have a dream, I do hope for some peace and quiet to let me concentrate on other things.
I purposely chose for it to be that way because I am afraid of the other thing happening. I do not want to disturb you, nor do I think I need disturbance. Its really hard to know you inside out, because we seem to be the same, people who hide our hard feelings from others, showing our happiness most of the time. If you feel that I don't really shower you with proper care, it is likely because I am afriad of bringing it to another level. I believe you wont bring it far, but I want to play safe.
I purposely chose for it to be that way because I am afraid of the other thing happening. I do not want to disturb you, nor do I think I need disturbance. Its really hard to know you inside out, because we seem to be the same, people who hide our hard feelings from others, showing our happiness most of the time. If you feel that I don't really shower you with proper care, it is likely because I am afriad of bringing it to another level. I believe you wont bring it far, but I want to play safe.
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