Kite Flying vs My thoughts

No no no no no, I did not go kite flying, though I had a kite. Well obviously it did not fly haha!

I never intended to learn kite flying, but today I went to a community kite flying event, where those who had their first hands at it were given simple and small kites, just to settle their kids desires, whilst others brought professional, large sized and well designed ones. Kites really seem to be a very good metaphor for children and achievement.

First, you need to manufacture it well. Some do it with skill, some might do it meticulously with all their heart and might, putting in 100% effort. Only then, can one prepare it for flight. Only then, when it is flying, only a small bit of a "push" can enable it to soar even higher.

Some kites, apparently few are able to be flown off by just one person. Others, definitely require more than one person to make it soar into the skies. Thats why a family is only complete when there are 2 parents. Even better when there are people at the side guiding them.

Well, the technique is such that for it to fly, you need to know the right time to let it go. You need to know when you can let go and so that it will soar, and when if you let go it will fall. If the time for it to rise appears and you stop his/her/its path, then there will eventually be failure as it is not sustainable. Some try making use of the advantages of the environment, 东风 like some would say. But, after much observation, the most critical of all, is actually the controller/family. If not, glory will be all but temporary.

Today was a 'breakthrough'. But the feeling was completely different. There really seems to be a change this time. And I wonder if that is the factor. But you know, as much as I do hope for it to happen, some things try to forbid me. It was you, your sudden emergence in my life that had changed so much. But right now I still haven't really changed it all. You seem like a unifying factor, somehow you keep me going, but when Im going I have not been recognising that. Or is it someone else...

For sometime now I've been thinking about marriage and its complications. As someone who looks upon tradition, I have always looked up to the idea of marriage and continuing the family line, having many kids. But in Singapore, where money is essential for life, I guess I really need to sort certain things out. Though my ideology is as such that money is not as important, but who would not want a good environment for their kids? Also, a question of biasedness towards different children. Thus, Im already trying to iron that out (haha). Making time for your kids, and yet trying to survive in a city with growing inflation to be comfortable will not be easy, especially with the number I have in mind (haha).

Finding the perfect partner would be one of the first problems to tackle. I do know that I am not romantic (yes), and I know romance and family cant really converge. But maybe it can become small tweets of life. However, till date, there's still an argument in my mind whether my partner should be as similar as me as possible, or as different as possible. But one thing is for sure, she has to accept me for who I am, some of my ideaologies, though she doesn't have to follow me (address that when I finally sort it out). And to find a partner, I feel is really not a "love at first sight" thingy. It should be much more complicated than that, because it is a lifelong partner. I don't really accept the idea of matchmaking, because it just seems weird. I think he or she should be the one if he or she has had something to do with you before, and you two have in fact been through "thick and thin", or at least been through certain experiences. There should be at least some form of feelings (感情）.

Thats why despite the personal touch, I don't want to be sure. Somemore it has happened to me so many times already, which never worked, so I would rather not go too far in. (try, it somehow pesters me!)

Its nice to have chats with my closest "daughter", somehow its only nice online. I don't know if she reads (I don't think so), but I wonder if it because of how the internet manages to show another side of people (usually the fake side). Or is it the internet allows us to somehow be more free to express ourselves? Not that I don't have nice chats with her in real life, but its a bare ? But I think Im a bit overwhelming lah, like take things too seriously or something... But I guess if she was really my daughter she would be someone I would shower my care with :) Its important to complete the family photo, but haha, Im giving her a choice first.

There will be tests already next week, but I think Im fortunate to have teachers who have passion in their work, who try to work with us and help us as much as possible. Sometimes, I can really feel that the class is like saying 'no' to a wonderful opportunity. But I think nevertheless, it is easy to see through what every teacher is like, and in Dunman High, I think most of them at least have the heart to teach. Its simple, because this profession in not as easy as many people think it is. But to be able to continue on, requires much more than you think. If you cannot take it, then even when you meet with the happy moments of being a teacher, you would find it something terrible as well. Still thinking about teaching as a career, but high chance a no. There's much more to venture out there, closer to my passion(s) and interests. It has to link to my family as well. I ironed this out a few days ago: Money may seem unimportant to me, I want to stop the ideology of "Money, Money, Money" after the great influence in Singapore by whoever, but if my family requires me to earn more money, I will go ahead and do it. Thinking about it, I don't think I would ever mind doing a job of driving. But I know, there are better stuff out there. I guess the future will be more bright when it comes closer.

I don't think you're reading. Don't think you can find my blog bah.... But I won't know because Im not close to you, not that close.