If possible, I'd rather not think about it.

Middle of holidays, but work not is not half. Really need to buck up. Im picking up speed, but I guess a little too slowly. A little bored, so decided to pen down some thoughts. Ok, type, as Hanker would say.

My life this year has been extraordinare. It will forever be different from that of my lives in other years, just like how each year is unique to me. Many things have happened this year. In terms of many aspects, of which some seen a positive change, and others a negative one. But I do believe that no matter what happens, it will benefit me in the end, somehow.

It seems that there are people reading, so I think I do not want to type anymore on more personal matters. Anyway, Im a little lost and I can't really put it in words.

Went for an LTA event, the DTL2 Tunnelling Commencement. Got a first-hand experience of chatting with newly appointed Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew. He really seems to be different, and trying his best to do his job well. So far so good, barely any thing I have disagreed with that he has mentioned. On another note, I want to thank my good friends that have accompanied me these years, John, Jeremy, Jun You and more. Especially John, I think we have actually surpassed that of just squadmates, fellow enthusiasts and even schoolmates, but really close friends, which is due to also our close personality.

I guess I shall end here for now.

Close to one week into holidays.... GAH

Wow, time passes so fast. Its close to one week.

I just realised there isn't much time left, comparing the time to things to do ratio. Oh dear!
For the past one week, it started out with NP stuff. Then pushed myself to complete my testimonial. Did some maths and Chinese, read a bit of Geography. Gosh, I need to change my attitude towards Science, if not Im not going to improve.

I have not really done Mei Ri Yi Ju, I think for 2-3 days. Looks like Im going to have a hard time, can only talk about what happened in 《金枕头》 haah. I finally completed it, after 3, close to 4 days of continuous watching. Hopefully I can save my eyesight. My mum left me 《三国演义》 before going, and its the drama serial version, so I guess for this one, I will restrict myself and not hurt my eyes. Seeing all the weird drama techniques in 1995, the weird looking places, faces; Maybe not weird, but unfamiliar and probably retro haha, really made me think about certain things. But its way too long-winded!!!!

Just 2 days ago, more people have left for the country, I hope for a good cause. Thinking about that, I do hope that I have a chance to go on a trip with John... But, whats yours will be yours, so if it really doesn't come, I guess I will look for an alternative. What comes knocking on my door, I will consider it.

Other than homework, I still have assessment books. Reading of syllabus is another important part for this holiday's schedule, and I also need to sort out certain things, for example, the newspaper collections for this election. This one cannot wait till December. Others, probably could, such as photo collections and some personal matters.

Shall sign off for now...

There's something wrong with me.

I've had enough of doing that. I really want to stop already. Ive had enough of all that other nonsense. I want to settle down now. Its time to stop this. But it supposedly isnt the right time to start that. How I wish such things don't bother me so much. As much as I have a dream, I do hope for some peace and quiet to let me concentrate on other things.

I purposely chose for it to be that way because I am afraid of the other thing happening. I do not want to disturb you, nor do I think I need disturbance. Its really hard to know you inside out, because we seem to be the same, people who hide our hard feelings from others, showing our happiness most of the time. If you feel that I don't really shower you with proper care, it is likely because I am afriad of bringing it to another level. I believe you wont bring it far, but I want to play safe.

This feeling is extreme. Marvellous and painful.

I never thought this was how it would come. I cannot even be sure if it really is what I think it is.

I swear it is different this time. It is different from all the other times. Maybe it is because of how we had addressed each other? But that does not change much... Or does it.

I can feel it, and it is incredible. its so heartwarming, heartfelt, but yet cannot be described. It is just so wonderful, like I am on the top of the world, looking down on creation, still searching for an explanation I can't find.

But its too tortorous for more. I really do not know if you find me naggy, irritating or whatsoever. Furthermore we are quite different. Being friends would be nice, but I can't read your mind. Because I don't want to hurt you, I have to control myself.

Maybe I should just give it all up, and look foward? Should I? Spare me the agony, I am looking for happiness.

My best table partner in years. Breakthrough for elections. Hectic so far...

This is a tribute to by far, one of my best table partners. Thank you so much, may you succeed and gain happiness in your future endeavours!

Its really nice to talk to you when there is a need, and your laughter justs cheers me up. You have helped me quite a bit as well, no doubt there was some "piak"-ing, but I apologise for shouting at you at times or just not being myself. I couldn't let my results get over me. Nonetheless, you still remained open for me to talk. The feeling... This is beyond words....

On another note, slightly sadly: I realise that Ms Pear and us were brought together by fate. But unfortunately, we do not have the affinity of spending time together... Thats why I joked more, since there may not be that chance again. Oh well.

And as there are sad times, would happy times come. Parliamentary general elections is now over, with a breakthrough by the WP Aljunied Team. Congrats to them, sadly I cant get served by you. At the same time, Mr Yaw managed to get Hougang into even higher spirits.

However, veteran Mr Chiam See Tong 满盘皆输, bidding goodbye to Potong Pasir and also not conquering the neighbouring Bishan-Toa Payoh. His team, like Mr Low's team, is made up of many good members as well, but I guess the spillover was not strong enough and furthermore, MOE was there. But well, WP has two famous ones, Low and Lim, with Chen and Pritam it made it better. Mr Chiam had all the others as new , or not very famous candidates, though I look very highly of Mr Benjamin Pwee. The legacy of Mr Chiam has ended, but will Mr Pwee arise? Hope so.

Many things have happened this election, which I believe not many people will read just as I do not want to type, but share only with my friends that share this common interest. On another note, I am glad to be able to take a break after a hectic semester. Yes, I won't be able to rest for long since I have decided I have to revive my GPA back to its original state on the account that I am going to get a very uncommon number this semester. But hope this short rest will be able to spur me on and do better.

I want to thank those people who have been of great help to me throughout this period, and I am glad I have improved in quite a number of aspects. They may not read it here, but I believe that they will get repaid somehow, somewhat and somewhere. But to me, helping others is repaid through the joy and happiness one has after you have helped him. But in controversy, I seemed to have caused some inconvenience and unhappiness when I helped some people recently. I am really sorry, if you are reading this.

Life, has to go on. The future seems blurry, may I find it soon.

So much has passed, so much had gone, so much has come.

Back into school life, more busy than ever. Some things have gone, some events passed, and so much things have came in replacement of them.
Sometimes, inspiration is really something really strong. People make decisions in life, usually influenced by something else. That is the power of inpiration.

I finally started on that email. 好的开始是成功的一半。Shall continue drafting it until it seems presentable. Meanwhile... just keep me happy inside.

Work and work. I feel that I am drifting away from what I really like. But thats how the world functions. Value the most important things first. Money, work etc. By the time you lose the lose, passion, your family, interest and friends, you wouldn't know what would have became of you.

Life~

Life, is strange. Really. Especially how the contents of it come together to make fun of people. Work, Family, Friends and all. Sometimes I just don;t understand why we have to do certain things that are not meant to be done that way. So much has happened throughout the course of these few months. There are quite a lot of things that make me happy, yes. However, some things are still as bad. Am I to leave it alone? I am suppposedly not supposed to, but I feel like doing so. Haiz.

Back. Sad.

Yes, back to blogging. Few more days to camp.

Results, as always, are never satisfying. Doesn't need to be what I feel, my mother finds it bad and that's the end of the story. I have decided to work harder, just hope I do and not just say. If so, I plan to start soon. Especially on certain topics that I really have no memory, cannot do well and don't understand.

Felt very sad, stressed this afternoon onboard 30. Was thinking about the bad of all the things around me, so scary. But I dunno was god or buddha trying to cheer me up, or whatever whoever there is, made a Lamborghini appear, at an angle which I could take a photo of it. Was exclaiming loudly to David, and we were snapping...

Hike made my day better today, clean fresh air, nice scenery. Feeling at the top of the world was wonderful, but when you look down, it just seems so scary.

Recently got to know a few songs... Just sound so nice. 像我这样为爱痴狂，到低你会怎么想？And many others.

Thanks David for accompanying me in the Carpenters melodies this afternoon. We should do that again soon! And I will include Abba!

THIS part of my life does not work out. Maybe I should stop thinking about it? I will just go mad, and maybe it doesn't have to be a part of my life, or not now. Why do I keep thinking about it?